Related Material on This Site:
Restrictive Religious Groups Resources for Former Members of Restrictive Groups
The Nature of Religious Experience Religious Studies & Spirituality Links
On Being A Former Seventh-day Adventist Ellen White & the Seventh-day Adventist Church
The Apocalyptic Background of the Seventh-day Adventist Church
Psychological Issues of Former Members of Restrictive Religious Groups
While this article was originally written for psychotherapists working with ex-fundamentalists, it should be helpful for anyone who has been involved with a conservative/controlling religious group.
Earlier versions of this material appeared in Psychotherapy, The California Therapist, and Cultic Studies Journal.
Restrictive religious groups, characterized by rigid beliefs, authoritarian structure, rejection of mainstream culture, and isolation from outside influences that might lead to questions about the group's teachings, come in many forms, from fringe cults to well established churches. While the experience of individuals involved with so-called cults that clearly deviate from orthodox religious practice has been extensively discussed in both popular and professional literature, there has been less recognition of the fact that similar issues are often associated with conservative forms of mainstream religion. While much of what follows is based on the experience of former members of Christian fundamentalist groups, there are parallels with restrictive forms of religion in a great many traditions. Former members of secular groups formed around charismatic leaders and idealistic endeavors may also experience similar issues.
Shattered Faith
There are many people who find membership in restrictive groups to be a positive experience. I am not here so much concerned with them as I am with those who, often after a great deal of inner turmoil, leave such groups. Many, especially those who had been intensely involved with their religion, experience what has been called the "shattered faith syndrome" (Yao, 1987). Having lost faith in what was once a primary source of meaning and guidance, the former believer feels lost and overwhelmed. While not all groups go so far as to prohibit contact with those who leave, a former member is unlikely to be well regarded by the faithful. Estrangement from the community of believers - the focus of social life within many such groups - will compound the sense of isolation and despair that often comes with the loss of one's faith.
The psychological effect of membership in a restrictive religious group often persists long after the outward severing of ties. Ex-members may experience a chronic sense of dissatisfaction coupled with difficulties in finding new sources of meaning and direction. Authoritarian groups undermine trust in one’s own judgment, and the former member have a great deal of difficulty in knowing how to regard his/her experience of reality when it is no longer regulated by what is and isn’t acceptable according to the group’s teachings. Many feel a sense of despair in being unable to recapture the certainty that came with unquestioning acceptance of dogma. Fundamentalist doctrines often emphasize human imperfection, maintaining that there is no possibility of doing good without the assistance of divine grace without which there is no hope of salvation. Belief that pride in oneself is sinful may be internalized as a persistently negative self image. Sexual inhibitions, compulsions, frustrations, and guilt tend to linger long after negative beliefs about sex have been consciously rejected. Having been taught to regard every impulse as potentially evil, the former believer may have limited capacity for spontaneity and lack viable means for genuine self-expression. Conditioned distrust of the world outside the community of believers coupled with the experience of disillusionment with teachings that once seemed infallible can be a serious obstacle to comfortably joining any group or making lasting commitments.
Psychological After Effects of Group Membership
Former members of restrictive religious groups are of course subject to the same psychopathogenic factors as everyone else; such a background is not an all-inclusive explanation for every psychological problem someone who once belonged to such a group may experience. But, the past being prologue to the present, current problems, even when not obviously connected, may well have some relation to having been in the group. The experience of loosing one's faith can be quite traumatic, although the trauma may be far from readily apparent.
Would be helpers should always approach religious conflicts from a carefully neutral position. There is a fine line between bias against religion as inherently pathological and naiveté about the potential of rigid religious systems for undermining a healthy sense of self. Even though a former member may claim to have rejected her or his former beliefs, it is important to remain neutral when offering support. Emphasizing negative aspects of a once strongly held way of being in the world may trigger a defense of something with which the ex-believer is still unconsciously identified. Criticism of past beliefs may be misconstrued as criticism of the individual for having believed them. There is often a lingering sense of shame in having once accepted as truth something that now seems untenable.
The former member should be encouraged to look at the positive as well as negative aspects of her/his experience in the restrictive group. It may be helpful to think of the involvement as a developmental stage that was important, in ways both good and bad, in shaping one's life. As with any other developmental stage, the restrictive belief system was eventually outgrown. But unlike most other life stages, there is rarely an obvious next stage for the former believer. This is especially true with groups that actively discourage awareness of other systems of thought and lifestyle. Fundamentalists typically have little acquaintance with other religions, the humanities, or modern critical thought. Education in schools operated by such a group, where all ideas are filtered through a closed belief system, further increases social and cultural isolation. Thus the former member may be totally unaware of alternative approaches to spiritual and existential issues. Support for spiritual and philosophical exploration, in contrast to the limits set by the former belief system, will help support a new capacity for independent thought.
Without the unequivocal pronouncements that once guided them, former members of authoritarian groups may feel lost and confused. In any transition, there is a naturally occurring period of time between the collapse of old beliefs and the development of a new set of guiding principles. Kuhn's (1970) account of the disorientation that occurs when a scientific viewpoint once thought to be definitive fails to fit emergent facts can be usefully applied to the similar confusion that comes with a shift in religious belief when an old set of beliefs proves inadequate to newly discovered facts about oneself and the world. Bridge's (1980) concept of an "empty" middle phase in the process of moving from an old way of being to something new, but not yet fully developed, can be helpful in normalizing the ex-believer's sense of confusion and inner emptiness as a natural part of the process of moving beyond outmoded views about self and the world.
The tenets of a restrictive religious group typically serve as the primary source of meaning and self definition for members. In departing from them, the former believer loses what was very likely the central organizing principle of her or his life. As with any loss, there is an associated grief process which, however, often goes unrecognized. Naming the losses as well as the gains that occurred in leaving the group can go a long way towards helping someone move through a necessary grief process. The depression the ex-member may feel is a normal and understandable response to a very real loss.
Often the connection between current life difficulties and past religious experience will not be apparent even to the former member. Ex-believers may feel doubly misunderstood and isolated. Family and friends who remain in the group, even when not outright rejecting a former member, are likely to have limited tolerance for the views of someone who has repudiated beliefs that they continue to hold. In addition, people who do not share the same background may find it difficult to understand the intense and long lasting effect of having been a member of such a group.
Along with the shattering of idealized images about the group and its leaders, the disillusioned believer has lost something that was once regarded as absolute truth. Beliefs can continue living on in the unconscious despite conscious intentions to leave them far behind. Years after I had left the apocalyptic church in which I grew up, I would sometimes find myself thinking of the news in terms of "signs of the end," wondering what I would do if prophecies which I supposedly no longer believed were fulfilled. I once knew a man who as a teenager was briefly involved with an extreme Calvinistic group. While he no longer believed in the hellfire and damnation that were a staple of the group's teaching, he continued to feel a need for what he termed "hell insurance."
Self esteem based upon being part of an elite group which is privy to "sure truth" is seriously impacted when one no longer is a member of the group whose teachings now seem to be anything but true. The former believer may feel foolish in having "been taken in." I have found Jung's (1965) concept of the self as an inner transcendent source of healing and wholeness that is often projected onto institutions and their leaders useful in helping people reclaim aspects of themselves that were given away to a religious group. Jung's psychological awareness of spirituality along with his autobiographical account of his own struggle with religious beliefs can be very helpful for individuals seeking a new way to understand religious experience.
In relationships the projections formerly carried by the group and its leaders are likely to reappear in the form of idealization and/or devaluation. Ex-believers may test a relationship to see if they are at risk for another painful betrayal. In psychotherapy, the process of recovery often involves reclamation of the personal authority once given over to the group, and now perhaps projected onto significant others as well as the therapist. Having been well trained in meeting demands that s/he conform to group expectations, the former believer may be very adept at unconsciously meeting the perceived expectations of others. Denial, repression, splitting, and a false self presentation are often well developed defense mechanisms. The black and white thinking expressed in such conflicting pairs of opposites as God vs. devil, group of believers vs. the rest of the world, sin vs. righteousness, etc. results in repression of aspects of oneself that might be construed as unacceptable. Constant self monitoring and rigid self control, along with confession of every sin in prayer, are regarded by many fundamentalists as the only means for escaping divine condemnation. In the literalism characteristic of fundamentalist thought, an "evil" thought or feeling may be regarded just as sinful as an evil act. Impulses and feelings of any kind may be regarded as demonic in origin. This also occurs in some Eastern traditions where the goal is transcendence of the illusionary material realm with its beguiling desires and sensations. The former believer is likely to need frequent reminders that there is nothing inherently evil about negative feelings, and the mere fact of their existence does not mean that they will be acted out.
Strongly held beliefs greatly complicate family dynamics when not all family members share those beliefs. Unlike former members of "cults" whose families likely opposed their religious involvement, individuals who leave church based groups often leave family members behind, and may need support in coping with the anger, pain, and grief of being misunderstood and condemned by family and friends. They will also need assistance in developing and maintaining a personal philosophy that clashes with deeply held beliefs of family members. Family interactions sometimes become dominated by well meant attempts of the "faithful" to persuade their "lost loved one" to return to "the fold." Conversely, the former believer's desire to win family and friends over to his or her negative view of the group is often as strong as the desire of those who continue as members to bring her or him “back to the truth.” All of which make family relationships difficult.
Dysfunctional family patterns may be hidden behind the idealized image of the religiously affiliated family, an image that is apt to fail when faith in the church or group is lost. The discovery of serious pathology in one's family may present yet another challenge to previously held beliefs. Adolescents from families belonging to restrictive religious groups often rebel through gross violations of the strict moral codes that have been prescribed for them. Sexual acting out, running away, and substance abuse in very religious families often represent fumbling attempts to establish autonomy in the face of overbearing parental and religious authority. Divorce and bitter child custody disputes, based in black and white conflicts over transcendent values, can occur when one spouse leaves a restrictive religious group while the other remains.
Conclusion
Psychological issues of former members of restrictive religious are often unique in the degree to which they involve past religious belief and experience. It is important to remember that what may seem to be eccentric, even bizarre ideas and practices are likely to have been very important in shaping the former believer's life. In addition to the usual goals of psychotherapy, former members may need assistance in exploring lingering religious conflicts along with support in seeking sources of meaning and social interaction more congruent with their current beliefs and lifestyle.
References
Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions. Reading, Mass.
Jung, C.G. (1965). Memories, Dreams, Reflections. New York: Random House.
Kuhn, T.S. (1970). The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Yao, R. (1987). Addiction and the Fundamentalist Experience. New York: Fundamentalists Anonymous (this group seems to no longer exist).
©1999 James C. Moyers May be copied and distributed with source and author credited.
Please feel free to contact me:
Jim Moyers, MA, MFT
2424 Dwight Way #1
Berkeley, CA 94704
(510) 843-2424
email: jim@jimmoyers.com
